I can honestly say I live in reality but don’t consider it
my reality. This doesn’t mean I choose to live in a completely fictional word
of my own imagination or hobbies, it just means that I find more value in my self-created
environment then having to endure the participation of living in an objective
reality. Nevertheless, over a period of time, I have come to realize there is a
level of disconnection of how I want to see my reality because of how the
objective reality is vastly erratic (both structured and unstructured) and uncontrollable
by nature. I feel perhaps there's a level of detachment because it’s far from the reality where
I long to live in. I believe it’s important to state that the objective reality
seems to interest me very little because of such undesired conditions, such as bad events, negative influences, unprecedented dangers, and obstructions by
the works of others; not to mention subjected to the judgments and conditions
of comparing oneself to other individuals and variants set forth by inescapable cultural values. Perhaps the hidden reason is that there seems to perhaps be of
no place or relevance for individuals such as myself or a position in which I
can be most useful. Such a position would most likely have to be self-discovered and
self-attained; therefore, I would like to state that I feel my personal reality
lies elsewhere. I believe the reality I find most comfortable and enjoyable is the reality that is in
my mind, that of which I create in my art, entrepreneurial ideas, and my stories.
I personally consider my stories to be my home or a sacred place where I am able to always visit or find
an escape from the objective reality. These are ideas and place others cannot obstruct
or negatively influence. If the objective reality were to have the same level
of engagement and comfort as that of my self-created reality then participating
in the objective reality would be much enjoyable. However, dealing with an
objective reality where one cannot find equal enjoyment, feel restricted,
cannot express oneself completely, and encounters judgment by others, a
fictional world within oneself is much more appealing. Not to sound pitiful,
but I joke around with my brother telling him if I were to ever be locked up, imprisoned, or held captive, I would be fine because in my imagination, thoughts, art and
literature, I would always have a place to explore. Nevertheless, it seems logical
to have a balance of both the self-created reality and the objective reality. After all, no one can strictly live on idea, thoughts,
and imagination alone.
Art by: jennaleeauclair at jennaleeauclair.deviantart.com
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