A Vicious Cycle

It's been almost two months now and I still can't find a job as a game designer. I believe either the industry maybe bloated with two many game designers or it could also be that my skill as a game designer simply isn't good enough. In either case, I still dislike the idea to settle at a lower wage or in my only case minimum wage job, a job which is also ridiculously competitive now-a-days, when I know my worth and rather make money for myself as an entrepreneur or contribute to projects and efforts that are more useful to the world and humanity. Therefore, instead of wasting my life working in an endless cycle hoping and struggling to achieve a better life, which seemingly now-a-days rarely happens, I will place my efforts where I can make the most difference. Therefore, I have decided that I should go volunteer overseas. Money isn't important to me if I can have a substitute or find an alternative to living conditions.

If I may rant, I feel unfortunate to be living in the world of today where life feels more like a struggle to what I perceive to be caused by political control. Opportunity feels as if they are restricted to licences, regulations, education requirements, experience requirements, and perhaps heavy financial requirements. Personally, I feel the need to live with no burdens, stress, with the idea that I can easily pay off something, feel unique in what I am achieving or working towards, and can maintain a high value of personal self-esteem and personal growth. I would also personally like to live with a minimal amount of monthly expenses and live comfortably, live in a secure location, have flexibility with time to do my own side projects, find value to what I am working towards and not feel like working for a very long time to achieve so little, feel as if going nowhere and treated as another number or lifeless drone. I find that by working to pay off rent, a car, or something other that is expensive, I would feel as if I'll be entering a lifeless zombie-like nature to where I have to work to live and not live to work. I see it pointless to throw my life away and waste the precious time in my life simply to make a living and help make a corporation wealthy. I also find it pointless to see everyone around me struggling and complaining how their life is unfair, unhappy, going nowhere, or stuck in a vicious cycle. I don't feel like competing in a system where it seems unfair and that everyone does the same thing and goes nowhere. I find it ridiculous to think that welfare seems to have more to offer than working now-a-days. I personally see this as a systemic failure. Nonetheless, I refuse to use the money another person has worked hard for to my own comfort living. It seems I have no other choise than to either exploit legal loopholes in the system or find my own unique path in life, because I believe living honestly seems to be more destructive than constructive. I await the day where intelligence, honesty, more freedom, and personal prosperity returns as a priority in today's system of living, where people have more choises to choose how to live, and what they want to live for. Until then, I see the nation as a very grey and gloomy place to live. Perhaps in the future I will have the ability to do what I would like without any political and financial restraint, where common sense and intelligence returns to the foreground of a system that allows for a functional and prosperous living.