Pursuing Happiness

A recent movie I watched, called The Pursuit of Happyness (2006). This was a movie that moved me so much that it immediately had become one of my favorite movies of all time. The philosophical meaning of the movie is something I will treasure for the rest of my life. To begin, the movie is about a Chris Gardener, played by one of my favorite actors Will Smith, and his son who comes to a point in his life where he struggles to make ends meet and eventually becomes homeless. When things are progressively getting worst Chris Gardener, who is also supporting his son, is constantly fighting for a better life as he struggles to make ends meet. The following quotes that were addressed in this movie, as well as in the book, are more precious to me than gold itself.

“The future was uncertain, absolutely, and there were many hurdles, twists, and turns to come, but as long as I kept moving forward, one foot in front of the other, the voices of fear and shame, the messages from those who wanted me to believe that I wasn't good enough, would be stilled.”

“Others may question your credentials, your papers, your degrees. Others may look for all kinds of ways to diminish your worth. But what is inside you no one can take from you or tarnish. This is your worth, who you really are, your degree that can go with you wherever you go, that you bring with you the moment you come into a room, that can't be manipulated or shaken. Without that sense of self, no amount of paper, no pedigree, and no credentials can make you legit. No matter what, you have to feel legit inside first.”

“It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?”

And my most favorite quote:

“Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?”

“You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.”

After watching this movie, I can honestly say my life has changed. I look at what others want me to be and do and I decide if it’s right for me. Routinely, I look at where I want to be in life and what I need to do to get there. I will always understand that life will never be easy. There will always be self-doubt and obstacles; however, as long as I can listen and think for myself with clarity, or even have that next step of what needs to be done next, I will continue to work on where I want to be until my goals materialize. When I eventually get there, I imagine the reward will be fruitful and the sacrifice will define my achievement. Until then, it's a bumpy ride.

My Passion for Jrock and Visual Kei

Roughly around 65% of the time when I’m not doing anything or waiting, I’m humming, singing to myself, or playing a song in my head. More than likely it’s Jrock (Japanese Rock or Visual Kei). I have a colossal passion for Japanese rock. I love the beat, the pace, the rhythm, the fashion, the culture, and expression behind the music. When I’m in the shower, I often daydream about being in a Visual Kei band where I’m mostly the singer or on the bass, drums, or guitar. I have developed this passion ever since I began highschool. I use to use Limewire and Kazaa to download the latest and greatest bands rising in Japan. For those familiar with Jrock artists, this was when Larc en ciel became popular, Gazette was raising in popularity. Miyavi stared in a movie, and Dir en Grey was new where Kyo was wearing his white crazy dress shirt and black tie.

When I talk to people that dislike Visual Kei, it mainly for the reason that their guys look like girls and their girls look like guys. However, for someone who sees beyond the physical appearance and looks at the expression the bands portray, I immediately find myself in a world of creativity, a extremely unique and vibrant and entertaining subculture with amazing personality and freedom, with downright hypnotizing, psychotic, and fascinatingly unmatched music that portrays emotions, story, and poetry.

In conclusion, it would be a dream come to true if I could be performing and singing on stage doing the crazy awesome things popular Jrock artists do. Having listened to so many bands and having so many ideas for music, I believe I would never stop making songs and would probably never retire. I would go down singing even in my grave. 

Personality Defects

I personally have a disbelief in the idea of social mental disorders. I believe such mental challenges are personality defects. By socially mental disorder, I mean individuals that act awkward, cannot communicate effectively, have some sort of perceived mental disability or are perceived as socially awkward. Although mental disorders are relevant in the mind, I believe an individual should not be judged or judge themselves based on the idea of being mentally defected. I believe if one perceives themselves as being socially mentally defected will acts or become influenced by their condition and will never have the opportunity to better themselves or get out from that disabled mindset. I believe by thinking one is socially mentally defected they will set themselves up to staying that way if not getting worst over time. For this reason I want to state this condition as a personality disorder, because by looking at it from this angle one will see they do have control over their actions and behavior and can influence a change in themselves to make themselves more socially engaging.

I also believe that those who feel extremely socially awkward should also take in the consideration to be very polite to others. Being polite allows for a sense of humility which puts the perceived individual on such a level that allows them to be socially accepted.  When I meet a person for the first time I can become very shy. Often when I become very shy I cannot communicate effectively. In fact I rather just nod or not say anything at all. When I do say something, I try to be very polite. I do this to distance my insecurities. It also shows humility which can be very influential in some cases. When I become too tired, I also find myself lacking in communication. When this happens I try to retreat in conversation, otherwise I feel like I would be lying, hiding something, or I’m uncertain of myself. I’m not sure why this is, I could perceive this as a neurological disorder, but with a change in environment or attaining of new stimuli I find myself breaking out of that habit. I think this could be a great example of me seeing this as a personality disorder and using that idea to change my mindset.

If I may extend to discussing something more personal regarding the topic, I do find this as an insecurity when looking at females or interacting with peers and individuals of greater status than myself. If I may add more about how I feel towards females, I would like to state that I do feel torn between two worlds when it comes to desiring a female. I feel like I should have a companion in life that extends the outreach of having pleasure in life; however, at the same time I feel like I don’t want to be a burden in someone else’s life by bringing them misery. I feel as if they can always find a better person then me. For this I accept the idea of staying alone and having the desire to devote my efforts in my goals, travels, and my career.